Fight to the death

easyphloem

easyphloem

Branched out member
Location
Louisville, KY
In a fight to the death between me and Familytree,



Who would prevail?



I am talking about a no-holds-barred, fight to the finish where we both train for months in the lead up to this epic fight.


When we finally meet it will be in some back alley illegal-type operation and we will have dip our fists (which are wrapped in filthy rags) into a tar/honey substance and then into sharp tacks, there will be people all around screaming incoherently (you should get the picture by now).



The funny thing is, when it is time for the fight to begin, I get a phone call. I have to answer it, so I take off my filthy rag/tack fighting gloves, and pick it up....

Would you believe it, it's Mister T on the phone?


He tells me that he pities the fool who dares fight me in a death match, and I tell him that it is Marc Powell that I am fighting, and he says "who's Marc Powell?", and I say "that's what I've been saying this whole time!".


So I wrap my fists up in the filthy rags and apply the tacks back as best I can. The whole time, Familytree is standing there, getting cold, and totally jealous that Mister T calls me on the regular.

I walk up to him and make him flinch with a fake body blow, and then I kick him in the shins instead. It's all about diversionary tactics.

Just about the time that I am about to beat the ever-loving crap out of him, I realize.....I never waited for other people to chime in with their opinions of how badly I would beat Familytree down in a semi-fair fight....


SZ
 
It's not a fair fight. Pick one of your young climbers to fight me if you want to make it fair. You an watch from the prius. Just listen for me blubbering and cryin as I beat the snot out of em.

Yeah, that's right, I cry when I fight, regardless if I'm winning or not. That's just how I roll.

If this was a insult battle, you might stand a chance, but a physical fight? Come on now, your smarter then that, you know it's gonna be me who wins.

And jack lelane will be in my corner. He's bringing his juicer. Game on
 
I cannot believe Jack LaLanne is still alive.


I have no idea why you would brag about him having your back. He's almost a million years old.


Yeah, I might have a sweet vantage point from my Prius...as I run you over in absolute electric silence.

From your avatar I deduce that you are approximately 3'9", with no legs. You are hardly a force to be reckoned with.


All I need to do is kick you over and commence with the celebratory drinking.


SZ
 
[ QUOTE ]
I cannot believe Jack LaLanne is still alive.


I have no idea why you would brag about him having your back. He's almost a million years old.




SZ

[/ QUOTE ]

He's bringing Jack LaLanne because Jack does his light work!
 
[ QUOTE ]
FT has way too much gear. You'd be in some experimental websling-carabiner-revolver-trap before you could say boo-ya. Not that that would be fair.

-Tom

[/ QUOTE ]


Yeah but what about my ability to talk my way out of said websling-caribiner-revolver-traps?


The tongue is mightier than the sword, and it's already documented that Familytree is afraid of my worthy insults.


SZ
 
BOO YAH. treeco cleanin up!

Jack lalane might almost be dead but at least he isn't washed up like mr.T.

Let the training commence. Loser fills up the winners gas tank / rechargable batteries.

By the way, were you referencing blood sport in your first post? Man, this is going to be a good fight. I call wearing the American flag bandanna on my leg.
 
[ QUOTE ]
I call wearing the American flag bandanna on my leg.

[/ QUOTE ]

That leaves me with the Japanese flag bandanna, a la Karate Kid, to wear on my forehead.



SZ
 
first of all - this is complete nonsense.
sz -you have never "trained for months" for anything in your life.
unless you count beer guzzling & eating contests - both of which you have dedicated a life's work to. and I applaud you, sir!

now if it was a belly bucking contest, where your hands had to stay behind your back - then you might be on to something, "el skeetero".
 
Eating contests are just a prelude to a crapping contest, and I'll beat ya in that too ralph machio

Blinky already joined my camp. Any other takers? I mean, I'm a jerk but blinky isn't.
 
x 2
jamminz.gif
ez over ftall day poopen, eaten, drinken, smoken, or fighten. all while driving the prius over your segway mark. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CW9J-fohHU
grin.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]


Blinky already joined my camp. Any other takers? I mean, I'm a jerk but blinky isn't.

[/ QUOTE ]

When did Blinky join your camp? This is serous. He's close enough that I would have to watch my back constantly.


And who told you Blinky isn't a jerk? Did he tell you that?



SZ
 

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WOW! I'm glad I tuned in to this thread. This is the best reading I've had in a while, seriously.

I'm going with EZ, no offence Family, it's just that EZ and I attended the same school and weelllll...if you're really 3'9" with no legs I think EZ has a slight advantage.
 
Well eric and john, I am a bit disapointed in you guys. I figured you guys smarter then that.

I'm not 3'9. I'm actually 4'0 even. All I have to do is pull out my secret move, the angry declawed kitten and it's game over.

After work I'm going to the art museum in philly to run up the steps just like in rocky. I will then take a huff from my oxygen tank, then a huff from my paint rag, and throw my arms in the air victoriously. Just listen for the scream "dragooooo". I'm comin for ya ez
 
Familytree would wail on you bro.
Don't even THINK of fighting him.
I don't know him but I have been lurking on here long enough to know that he climbs/grounds/works more than you.
What are you going to do? Sell him somthing to death?
Face it, hes in better shape than you are. I know you once hauled entire trees out of back yards on your shoulders but sales has made you soft and dare I say...pudgy.
I also know that despite your tough guy INTERNET persona, you are really a nice guy and are actually stuffed with fluff.
You do have that throw ball thing going for you. Perhaps you could take him out from a distance with your one shot one kill method of tree entry.
I don't know, its just sad.
Familytree, beware of EZs sidekick Morice lurking in the shadows as well.I dont trust him.
 
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